Holiday routines usually mean later nights and more screens – great at the time, but a nightmare to sort out once school starts again. So how do you pull things back without triggering a household revolt? We brought in the experts.
Heading back to school means earlier wake-ups and fuller days for everyone, which is made even harder when the kids’ sleep and screentime routines are out of whack. Jackie Riach, clinical psychologist and Triple P Positive Parenting Lead in New Zealand, says that when it comes to getting kids back into routine, planning ahead is ideal. But if it’s too late, starting now is the next best thing. Jackie says tamariki thrive on predictable routines, so knowing bedtime and screentime limits helps them feel secure at a time when lots of things are changing.
“Not only do routines provide a foundation of security and stability, but they also foster social and emotional well-being, academic skills, and better mental and physical health,” she says.
Making a smooth transition to school
Preparation and honest communication are key in making the transition back to school – and normal routines – work, Jackie says. She recommends:
• Involving children in shaping new routines
Let them make simple choices, like picking lunches for the week. It builds coping skills and reduces stress.
• Having open conversations about going back to school
If they’re worried, validate their feelings and encourage them to talk. Working through concerns builds resilience.
• Approaching the new year with optimism
Ask what they’re looking forward to. Listen, stay open, and respond without judgement.
• Leaving space to unwind after school
Avoid overloading schedules in the first few weeks. Jackie says time together strengthens their sense of security by letting them know they are loved and valued.
Managing the digital reset
During holidays, screen time naturally creeps up, says Netsafe Chief Online Safety Officer Sean Lyons. He and Jackie offer these tips for gently pulling things back in.
Create a judgment-free zone and talk about their online time
Rather than cutting back overnight, start with conversation: what they enjoyed, what felt like too much, and what might change for term-time. “Small, gradual changes tend to work better, such as starting with screen-free meals or earlier device cut-off times at night,” Sean says.
Jackie adds that curiosity strengthens your relationship: when kids feel safe talking about their online habits, bigger conversations become easier. Netsafe’s Online Safety Parenting Toolkit includes conversation starters that can help.
Try creating screen-free zones and times
Make mealtimes, bedrooms, bathrooms, or the hour before bed device-free.
Use built-in parental controls and know the tech
Stay informed about the content and apps your child uses. Check reviews, explore parental controls, or even play the games yourself. Sean says most devices allow daily limits, downtime schedules, or pausing access. “Tools are most effective when they support clear family expectations, not when they replace conversations,” he says.
Limit your own device time
“Parents can model healthy digital habits by limiting their own device time, which will result in less conflict and resistance when you ask your child to put down their own screen,” Jackie says.
Expect complaints – boredom, frustration, or both – as screen time reduces. Hold firm.
“Parents can help by acknowledging those feelings while staying consistent. Framing changes as part of looking after wellbeing, rather than as a punishment, can make a big difference,” Sean says.
He also suggests looking beyond how long kids are spending online, and pay attention to wellbeing cues. Later bedtimes, changes in mood, sleep, or focus can signal that habits need adjusting.
What to expect when resetting sleep routines
Expect the classic “I’m not tired,” or wanting extra stories, one more drink, or there may be emotional pushback. But these strategies can help:
Establish a consistent bedtime routine
Predictability makes bedtime smoother. A bath, a story or waiata, and a familiar goodnight ritual helps signals that sleep is coming. “This consistency helps signal to your child that sleep time is approaching and provides a sense of security,” Jackie says.
Avoid long negotiations
Keep limits firm, praise them for following the routine, and reinforce positive behaviour. Consistency matters – giving in teaches them that boundaries can be bargained with. “Gently explain that these limits exist to protect their well-being, just like other family safety rules,” Jackie says.
Get support when you need it
Triple P’s parenting programmes offer more guidance, and Netsafe’s website and free helpline can help with digital challenges. Reach out if things feel overwhelming – support is available.
The biggest key to success? Consistency. If boundaries bend easily, kids learn they’re negotiable – and resetting habits becomes even harder.
Kia kaha, parents!
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