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Few relationships shape a child’s school journey more powerfully than the one they have with their teacher. LINLEY EDMEADES, author of the new children’s book Kauri Boy and the Lost Kiwi, shares practical insights for helping nurture that vital connection so our tamariki feel grounded, confident, and supported at school.
Kauri Boy and the Lost Kiwi grew from watching one of my moko navigate school life. In the book, a boy struggles to follow classroom routines and to understand his teacher, Mrs McTilley. After being sent into the corridor for talking when he should be quiet and standing when he should be sitting, he stumbles across a kiwi that’s fallen from a conservation truck, and the adventure begins.
So much about school has changed since my own 1960s classroom days. But one thing hasn’t: the lasting impact of the teacher–pupil relationship. I see it every time I talk with my grandchildren. They’re quick to share stories of teachers they really like and those they don’t get along with. I hear about moments of “not being listened to,” feeling “picked on,” or feeling powerless. It’s something I also discuss often with my sister Joy, a Napier primary school teacher.
The ideas below helped inspire Kauri Boy and the Lost Kiwi. They’re simple and may well be familiar to many parents, who just haven’t vocalised them.
1. Communication is everything
Children want to feel seen, heard, and respected. When communication with their teacher feels safe and open, they’re more likely to engage in learning and feel like they belong.
These days, connecting with teachers is easier than ever – whether it’s a quick email, a chat after school, or a message through your school’s communication app. Keep the dialogue flowing. A small conversation can make a big difference in how supported your child feels.
2. Don’t overlook the ‘in‑between’ moments
The most meaningful parts of a school day don’t always happen during lessons. The magic can happen in the in-between times, be it lining up, packing up, chatting while walking to assembly. These can be the moments where children build rapport, trust, and a sense of connection with their teacher.
3. Foster mutual respect
A child and teacher won’t always gel – and that’s okay. Respect can still thrive.
Encourage your child to look for things they appreciate about their teacher and help them remember that teachers are people too. They get tired, stressed, and overwhelmed just like the rest of us. And importantly, a child having a ‘naughty’ day doesn’t mean they’re not learning. Behaviour and learning aren’t the same thing.
4. Every day offers a reset
One hard day shouldn’t define the next. A classroom relationship can be repaired – and often quickly – through warmth, humour, and a fresh start.
Help your child understand that each morning is a clean slate. Encourage them to share something funny with their teacher, or go up and say hello first. Small gestures can reset the tone for the whole day.
Kauri Boy and the Lost Kiwi, by Linley Edmeades. Published by: Little Love (Mary Egan Publishing). RRP: $30.00. Available April 2026.
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